Weight of the World

Certain times of year, there is a different sort of energy in the air. The end of the school year is one of those times. It feels sometimes like everything is set to move on a faster speed setting, and I can’t keep up with it. But I still absorb the energy around me, and it makes me nervous, stressed out and overwhelmed. It feels like this is where the expression “the weight of the world” might come from, for me at least. 

This week has been one of those weeks. Actually, the past few weeks have, but this last one is where it has become truly overwhelming for me. 

So today, I chose to step out of it. Out of the race, the rush, the mad pace. I pressed the pause button for a few hours, stayed home, watched a movie alone, cooked for myself (this is a huge treat and a big aspect of self-care for me as I don’t often get to eat what I want to, due to the varied palate of the family), and I’ve just taken it slow.

I’m writing about this today because, so often, I notice too late. When the overwhelm has gotten out of hand, and I can no longer find that pause button. When I’ve been swept away in the whirlwind and my thoughts are going at a different speed to the rest of me, and the words can’t be found, and I feel like I am occupying a borrowed body. And every time I wonder, why did I not notice in time? What could have done to slow it down, to take notice, to help?

Maybe this time, I’ve done it. Time will tell.

What did I watch? House of Gucci

What did I cook? Shakshouka